Wilco (The Lawsuit) Complete Lyrics

[Guest Speed Racer]

Eleven tracks for W(TA), eleven tracks for W(TL). I'm done!

 

It's been fun, and if it weren't for a typo on a legal document of my own yesterday I might have actually had to work. I spent less time on the track order than I did the parodies, which is really saying something, so sorry if your cerebral mixtape doesn't flow smooth like butter. Thanks for all the love, and the AMAZING titles to work with (Pieholden Fuck You Pay Me is still way so totally my favorite). I don't mean for so many of the songs to come off as hatin' on Jay, but Wilco did pen a lot of spurned-lover songs that really lent themselves to the plaintiff's side; I think it's a testament to his contributions to the band that W(TL) is Summer Teeth-heavy.

 

Wilco (The Lawsuit)

 

1. Subpoena Queen

2. He's a Czar

3. My Darling

4. Lawyerteeth

5. Pieholden Fuck You Pay Me

6. Jesus, esq.

7. Via Cook County

8. Litigation

9. Wilco Royalties

10. Hoodoo Sue You

11. Tortreform

 

SUBPOENA QUEEN

 

They say money's pourin' down

But it's not where I'm around

so I'm comin' back to town

 

I want your paycheck

So that I can make the rent

and my hip that I just spent -

I'm lookin' like a wreck

 

Supoena queen

Good god I'm mean

I'll been suing like a fiend

For your royalties green

 

I always sue in May -

I say - it's better pay

The room fills with suits

And I'm ready for my fruits

But the judge he keeps on jokin'

'Cause the contract isn't broken

 

Supoena queen

Good god I'm mean

I'll been suing like a fiend

For your royalties green

 

Supoena queen

Good god I'm mean

I'll been suing like a fiend

For your royalties green

 

HE'S A CZAR

 

He's a czar

With a funny beard

So fierce and feared

A circle's-center

With money hid

And now he begs me not to sue him

 

He says forever to pull a ruse

We could use

A handful of cash

For a day off

And a broke hip

However, he won't feel

Your claim is real

 

When I forget how to talk, I blog

Won't you please

Bring that tune to shine

And turn my face red

Untill you pay

And my hip gets sick

Stuck, like a check left uncashed

 

I'd climb aboard

If someone could help me

To my fragile legal team

And watch me summon, inches above,

The people underneath

 

Please beware the quiet court room

I warned you

Before there were things to sign

I warned you not to lie

Dry your eyes, you poor devil

 

Are there really claims like these?

The ones I file

Float like leaves

And fall to spend skeleton cents

I went through before I sued you

 

I believe it's just because

Jay B's payday is not enough

Oh I believe it's all because

Jay B's payday is not enough

 

I'd climb aboard

If someone could help me

To my fragile legal team

And watch me summon, inches above,

The people underneath

 

He's a czar

With a funny beard

So fierce and feared

A circle's-center

With money hid

 

And now he begs me

not to sue him

 

MY DARLING

 

Let's go to court now

My darling

And I'll sue all the good things away

Think now, of sweet things

And I'll find a way to make sure you pay

 

Because I made you

My darling

With the gift, deep down in my heart

I made you famous, my darling

Right from the start

 

Write songs now

My darling

Please don't you write them too fast

And be sure, darling

To make all the royalties last

 

Because I made you

My darling

With the gift from down in my heart

I brought you talent, my darling

Right from the start

 

LAWYERTEETH

 

Like a frown his hip crumbles down

He's a bedridden songman, a legal clown

His hand's reaching for the piggy bank

 

And every evening when he stays home

To feel resentment inside him grow

His myspace cries while his posts get old

 

It's just a claim he keeps making

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

 

One summer, a dreaded guy

Another autumn, you meets Nels Cline

headaches come, you puke, you cry

 

And every evening when he stays home

To feel resentment inside him grow

His myspace cries while his posts get old

 

It's just a claim he keeps making

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

It's just a claim he keeps making

 

He's unlucky to sue you here

Needs insurance, needs good care

He thinks we forgot he was even there

 

It's just a claim he keeps making

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

 

It's just a claim

And it doesn't seem to mean anything

 

PIEHOLDEN FUCK YOU PAY ME

 

there's a bad word I would like to

scream into your ear but

cops won't let me get

that close to you right now

 

there are things I should have signed

but I was high

and now I'm broke but

now you know that I want

to sue

 

in the beginning we wrote some songs

whenever you sang, I sang along

then you did me wrong

 

JESUS, ESQ.

 

Jesus, don't sue

You've got enough of my money

You can't combine everything you want

 

I'll be around

You were right about guitars

Each one is a lot of fun

 

Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake

in your sad, sad song

tuned to chords

spurned royalties

for surgery

turning your pelvis around

 

Don't sue

You've got enough of my money

You can come by any time you want

 

I'll be around

You were right about guitars

Each one is a lot of fun

 

Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake

in your sad, sad song

tuned to chords

spurned royalties

for surgery

turning your pelvis around

 

Lawyers whine

Two summons are scraping together

Your voice is shaking

Last minute bets are all you can get

Turning your pelvis around

 

The court

The court

The court is all we have

 

The court

The court for all of my money

Each judge is impartial, son

 

Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake

in your sad, sad song

tuned to chords

spurned royalties

for surgery

turning your pelvis around

 

Lawyers whine

Two summons are scraping together

Your voice is shaking

Last minute bets are all you can get

Turning your pelvis around

 

Last minute bets are all you can get

Turning your pelvis around

Last minute bets are all you can get

Turning your pelvis around

 

VIA COOK COUNTY

 

I dreamed about suing you again last night

it felt alright to me

filing on the terms of a contract left unsigned

I watched your wallet bleed

buried you alive in a settlement today

raining down on me

your cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea

 

I printed my name on the back of a suit

And I had it filed away

The dough I had in catalog of songs and movies

Is all I tried to save

So my health brought me back, via Cook County

In the middle of the spring

And all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing

 

You know I'll break my back one of these days

And turn on poor VC

You'll watch a man with a face like mine

Suing fans for their parodies

And when I get caught I won't be right

And I won't get a cent

 

I'm suing you,

I'm suing you,

Via Cook County

 

my cups are cracked and hooked above the sink

it makes me think

cumbling pelvis bones don't fix themselves on their own, now

crawling to court with a lash, sue into submission

to rest my hip on a pillowy star at a hospice care

who says I wouldn't go that far?

 

gotta pay the rent,

god my hip is spent,

searching for a cent,

via Cook County

 

searching for a cent,

searching for a cent...

 

LITIGATION

 

Litigation

It can't help nothin'

About my pain

About my pain

 

Bad emotion

An band commotion

Demotion

Demotion

 

mea culpa a priori ego

Oh I tried to steal the show

Good intentions in sight

But I just wasn't right

 

Litigation

It can't help nothin'

About my pain

About my pain

 

I file a claim for little things

So my life will change

But in so many ways

I find more missing every day

 

Litigation

 

I'm filing this suit

So you will think of me

How you'll feel I cannot know

 

No one's ever gonna take my job from me

I lay it down

I pull the thorn

I pull the thorn

I pull the thorn

 

Hip commotion

A cane promotion

I'm diagnosed

Diagnosed

 

Hey I'm diagnosed

Diagnosed

 

WILCO ROYALTIES

 

I'd like to rest my broken hip tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

I'd like to lay my mount of debt tonight

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

I'd love to feel

Your cash touching me

Please understand

You must keep working on

 

Yes you'll give your life

So I lay my hip tonight on a bed

of Wilco royalties

 

I'd like to dream

My troubles all away

On a bed of Wilco royalties

 

Jump up from my bed rest

Walk around the block

With a cane and Wilco royalties

 

I walk like crap

'Cause I rocked too hard

And didn't heed advice

From a doctor's ward

 

So you'll give your world

'Cause I wrote some songs with you

Now you owe me Wilco royalties

 

HOODOO SUE YOU

 

Hoodoo, sue you, fifty-thousand times two

Hey-plaintiff, ho-lawyer, CourtTV

High-broker, low-blower, ninety-nine-to-zero

Courtroom, tort-time, sue you off your pants

 

Black pen and blue suit, one, two, three, four

Dreadlocks, dead-locks, OMG

Biggy man, little man, lawyer man, judgey man

Grasping for greenbacks, hold my hand

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? Suing you now!

 

Writer one, writer two, collaborating hot tones

Two, four, six, eight, percent divide

Pretty song, pretty film, quote yourself to Sam Jones

I'll produce, you'll be fine

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

Jinga jangler, tinga lingle, mellotron on overload

Circle's center, bandmate scamper, huggle me close

No Ken, hot Glenn, lotsa blow in Amsterdam

Cut the dreads, and sue my ass some more

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hoo

True fool, how true? You're suing me now!

 

You're suing me now!

 

Cut the dreads

And sue my ass some more

 

You're suing me some more

You're suing me some more

 

TORTREFORM

 

I'm the boy who files a lawsuit

I'm the boy whose hip'll fall apart

Tortreform, I lie to myself

I'm the boy that sues your heart out

 

I know I should be more prudent

I know I should watch what I say

Tortreform and I'm a safe cracker

I served you first and then broke in

 

We slip and slide on the settle-out-of-courtmine

I make my mind up to never quote myself

And every time I file a claim

I live my life for someone else

 

Ooh whoa

 

He's at the Loft now with cherub music men

(He got his way)

I'm on the sofa (I want my way)

Hoping he leaves them all 'cause

 

I'm the boy with the poetry power

I'm the boy, heart went sour

And every time I file a claim

I live my life like I wasn't invited

 

Ooh whoa

 

He got his way

I want my way

 

I'm the boy who files a lawsuit

I'm the boy whose hip'll fall apart

Tortreform, he fired me first

And I'm the boy, don't get me started

 

I know I should be more prudent

I know I should watch what I say

Tortreform, I'm a safe cracker

I served you first, then broke in

 

Ooh whoa

[Guest Francis X. Hummel]

6. Jesus, esq.

 

[bleedorange]

Thanks for compiling all of these. Great work. Now we just need someone here to record them and we can sell them to help pay off Jay. It's a benefit CD for both parties!

[Central Scrutinizer]

Thanks for compiling all of these. Great work. Now we just need someone here to record them and we can sell them to help pay off Jay. It's a benefit CD for both parties!

Like I said, Tribute Album Vol. 3

[jff]

One summer, a dreaded guy

Another autumn, you meets Nels Cline

 

lol

[GtrPlyr]

You had me by the time I hit He's a Czar .

 

A circle's-center

With money hid

 

you can't go wrong with references only a fan would get.

[W(TF)]

Yes this will be 'acclaimed' in the anals of VC lore...lol

 

Great job.

[bird jam]

Outstanding.

[mpolak21]

Bonus B-side: Muzzle of Fees!

 

Muzzle of Fees:

 

There's a random filed lawsuit

And a muzzle of fees

My wallett's come unstitched

From meeting his pleas

 

When Jay plays some say he's genius,

I don't think they're wrong

But six years of making music

Was two years too long

 

And the songs get passed from stage to stage

Endlessly, and I get paid

When the suit blows through

Into the courts in May

Finally back to Jay

 

You're assuming he left a message

On my machine

I'm assuming he loathes me

And you know what that means

 

Songs get passed from stage to stage

Endlessly, and I get paid

When the suit blows through

Into the courts in May

 

When the suit blows through

My head, I scoff at Jay

Fifteen for you, lots for me

Fifteen for you, lots for me

[jff]

I'm already working on the sound collage in Less Than You Think You Should Have Been Payed. I'm having a little trouble getting the right balance between the sounds of cash registers, gavel banging and briefcases latches opening and closing, but it should be ready in time for Vol. 2.

[Guest Speed Racer]

Shoot, Mike! I totally forgot that one, thanks! And that was one of my favorites, too.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Somehow Spiders (Kidsmoke) missed the track list ... Some interesting parallels between what's being "spun."

 

It's probably best to avoid the low-hanging fruit tho.

[Winston Legthigh]

When I mixed the segue to H.M. Drummer, you started to puke...

[mountain bed]

I'm already working on the sound collage in Less Than You Think You Should Have Been Payed. I'm having a little trouble getting the right balance between the sounds of cash registers, gavel banging and briefcases latches opening and closing, but it should be ready in time for Vol. 2.

[explodo]

This is truly unbelievable. It would be a gas if they played one or more of these versions live.

[gueringray]

Yes this will be 'acclaimed' in the anals of VC lore...lol

 

Uhhh....I believe that should be ANNALS

 

Anals is something COMPLETELY different. But, different strokes I guess.....

[Guest Speed Racer]

Uhhh....I believe that should be ANNALS

 

Anals is something COMPLETELY different. But, different strokes I guess.....

 

Eh, I'm kind of an asshole; happy to go wherever there's room.

[dontknownuthin]

This is really impressive. Very funny.

 

"Writer one, writer two, collaborating hot tones

Two, four, six, eight, percent divide

Pretty song, pretty film, quote yourself to Sam Jones

I'll produce, you'll be fine"

 

That might be my favorite line of all of them. Nice job!

[froggie]

 

 

[Preferred B]

I think the most impressive thing was how you churned these out in a freakishly short period of time, Lauren. And this is my favorite line: "Dreadlocks, dead-locks, OMG".

 

I heard the song "Retrieval of You" today for the first time in a couple years. It reminded me of other possible routes Jay could have taken.

[Moss]

Speed, too bad you can't parley this into a career because as far as I'm concerned you should be able to make a living at it. Thanks for the laughs.

 

[ih8music]

once again, awesome job!

 

And this thread is nicely packaged for someone "with connections" to pass along to Jeff & co. I think hearing a live rendition of 'Hoodoo Sue You' at some point along the tour would be the stuff legends are made of.

[Gewee]

Most awesome. Can't pick a fave. They are all too good. And with this Western civilization has peaked. OK what's next

[giraffo]

oh, oh, I got one, I got one!

 

i hear you whisper

i hear you whine

i hear you hangin'

on a sour grape vine

 

oh, why so angry?

what's mine is mine

you got resentment

you're sick and tired

 

you want me broken

you want me dead

i'm livin' rent-free

in the back of your head

 

hey, chicken

you're all talk

hey, chicken

you're all talk

 

oh, uh-oh

 

boo-hoo

 

i see your sister

she's lookin' fine

oh, she's been hangin'

on my sour grape vine

 

oh, why so angry?

just rise above it

man,

it's been a long time

 

you want me broken

you want me dead

i'm livin' rent-free

in the back of your head

[trentasaurus]

You kick ass. Also the girl in your picture is hot.